Hot Bodies Running the TSA’s Gauntlet
by Karen De Coster
The latest backlash against the TSA’s new groping procedures is finally reaching a level of furor that is in proportion to the atrocious crimes we have been subjected to since the government’s favorite excuse for totalitarianism: 9/11.
I haven’t flown much at all in the last few years because I figured if I did, sooner or later I would end up in jail. You see, people who know me well understand that I have no tolerance for any of this crappola being dished out by the sick bastards running their abusive and criminal pipelines at US airports. I have a mouth, and unfortunately for me, I use it every bit as well as my keyboard. In the past, in response to rude treatment from the TSA’s arrogant pricks, I have taunted the crew-cutted, militaristic-looking weenie boy TSA agents and their hoggish female counterparts, and accordingly, they have threatened me (“we will not let you get on this plane”). I have done this in front of traveling partners who were moderately frightened at my lack of ability to go along, get along, and say “yes sir” and “thank you sir.”
I raged back in 2004 at the Detroit airport, when, while preparing to get on an international flight, one of my best girlfriends had her luggage searched and some grotesque-looking male with a deformed waistline and a minimum of five chins started pulling tampons out of her Kotex box, one by one. Our group (or at least I) almost didn’t make it on the flight. In 2004 I wrote about my eventful airport moment spent evading the TSA after one of the cattle from the herd went all fruitcake on me for leaving my bag unattended.
Some people have t-shirts that read, “doesn’t play well with others.” I need one that says, “I’m a really nice person until you try to control me.”