I Can’t Believe How I’m Thinking
Wednesday, February 8th, 2012
It’s like I’ve slapped myself in the face and I’m feeling the sting. The goddamn system is closing in so fast I’m getting tempted to censor myself when out in public. I’m actually starting to feel I can’t even freely bandy about with check out people, clerks or people on the street like I usually do anymore. I’m starting to subconsciously be concerned about who might be listening.
And possible consequences. Damn.
I know how to bring up subjects to find out if I might have a listening ear about things I’m passionate about people knowing. And believe me, if the door opens, I get both feet in before they knew I was knocking. I’m sensitive, I’m considerate, but I’m insistent and confident however far I think I can help that person along, or in many cases can learn from them.
But it really sucks when the big Eye starts to infringe on your consciousness and cut off your lifeline to spontaneity and sychronicity. And it has apparently creeped up on me, and I don’t like it.