UBS’ Advice On What To Buy In Case Of Eurozone Breakup: “Precious Metals, Tinned Goods And Small Calibre Weapons”
by Tyler Durden
Three months ago, Zero Hedge presented the first of many narratives that started the thread of explaining the “unmitigated disaster” that would ensue should the Euro break up, which in the words of authors Stephane Deo and Larry Hatheway, would leads to such mutually assured destruction outcomes as complete bank failure and/or civil war or far worse. Because if there is one thing the banks have learned in the aftermath of Hank Paulson, is that scaremongering when bonuses are at stake is the only to get taxpayer money to fund exorbitant lifestyles. Unfortunately since the first UBS report, despite the best intentions of the status quo, the Eurozone’s plight has only gotten far, far worse, reaching a Lehman-like crescendo when the house of cards threatened to collapse if not for a last minute Fed rescue. However, as Deutsche Bank and every other bank knows well, that measure was merely a short-term fix.
Today, Larry Hataway has released yet another sequel to the original piece, focusing on this so very critical week for Europe, which as Olli Rehn said, must find a solution by Friday or see the EU “disintegrate”, in which the vivid imagery, loud warnings and level of destruction are even greater than before. In other words, Europe has 4 more days, something which S&P tried it best to remind Europe of, as the alternative is “or else.” And here comes UBS to remind everyone that anything but a “fix” to a system that was broken from the very beginning, would be a catastrophe, captured probably the best in Hatheway’s recommendations of assets to be bought as a hedge to a Euro collapse: “I suppose there might be some assets worthy of consideration—precious metals, for example. But other metals would make wise investments, too. Among them tinned goods and small calibre weapons.” But even that is nothing compared to the kicker: “Break-up runs the risk of becoming one wretched scenario. Sadly, however, it can’t be ruled out, just as it would have been improper to rule out the horrors of the first half of the 20th century before they happened.” And there you have it: a reversion by Europe to the perfectly stable system from a decade ago, is now somehow supposed to result in World War. And with that the global banking cartel has official jumped the shark, just like the FT’s latest rumor earlier today did the same by indicating that the well of European “bailout” ideas has officially run dry.
Here is how Hatheway frames the end of the world: