By Coach Dave Daubenmire
June 10, 2010
Secular–not pertaining to or connected with religion
Let me see if I have this straight. He is the champion of the “conservative movement” even though he has struggled with drug addiction to the pain killer oxycotin, was found to be using Viagra even though he was unmarried, and recently took the walk down the aisle for his fourth till-death-do-us-part vow. This “king of conservatism” was twenty-seven when his new bride was born. At the wedding celebration he treated his guests to a million-dollar serenade by the music queen Elton John, who recently declared that Jesus was gay, financially empowering the former Reginald Dwight (Elton) with the ability to pour another million dollars into his anti-Christian activities.