The TSA’s Dogs of War
by Becky Akers
Awwwww, aren’t they sweet? Absolutely “irresistible,” in fact, especially given their future employment: these puppies will one day sniff passengers who have no choice but to submit, regardless of whether they’re frightened of or allergic to dogs.
“The Transportation Security Administration’s [TSA] Puppy Program breeds working detector dogs,” prattles Pravda – sorry, KENS-5 of San Antonio, Texas. The story offers no less than 79 slides; presumably each features another of Our future four-footed Masters rather than the jack-booted, bipedal variety. I only made it to #4. As a mere serf rather than a politician or bureaucrat, my stomach for even the cutest totalitarianism is remarkably weak. “But they [sic, apparently for ‘it,’ meaning the TSA] can’t accomplish this goal without the help of citizens [sic for collaborators] who can foster these little dogs until they are about 12 months old.”
No doubt the Nazis needed “citizens” to “foster” their German Shepherds, too. But where did they and where do their spawn at the TSA recruit such Volk? Given these regimes’ respective sexual assaults, beatings, cruelty and murders, what decent person would willingly assist either in any way? Especially by perverting innocent puppies into agents of such evil. And yet, the TSA enjoys an abundance of volunteers: “Due to an overwhelming number of adoption applicants,” it warns, “there is a waiting list to adopt a pup from the program.”
“…[D]ogs are natural libertarians…,” says Rex Curry, a lawyer who defends victims indicted when dogs supposedly smell something Our Masters forbid us on them. Dogs “have to be constantly taught to detect drug odors and approach peaceful humans and search them, so that humans can be arrested, handcuffed and imprisoned for decades. That is not an easy trick to teach a dog. It is easier to teach humans.” Bravo! Two points for Rex and Rover!