North Korea threatens New Zealand with nuclear strike; nothing we can do, says Key

Tuesday, March 12, 2013
By Paul Martin

The Democratic Republic of North Korea today threatened New Zealand with a nuclear attack in response to new sanctions leveled on it by the United Nations.

The isolated communist dictatorship had earlier made a similar threat against the United States, but retracted it following President Obama’s swift assurance that any ballistic missile attack against his country could be quickly and easily intercepted.

Acknowledging that its initial proclamations were overzealous and unrealistic, the DPRK today reissued its threats, this time against several more vulnerable countries, including Turkmenistan, Iceland and New Zealand.

Speaking from Chile, Prime Minister John Key told a pool of reporters that nothing could be done to stop the attack. “Well, you know, if they want to, what do you want me to do?” asked Key, noting that New Zealand did not possess the sort of anti-missile defense systems available to countries like the United States.

Asked what he thought would happen if North Korea did launch a nuclear strike against the country, Key replied “Everybody would die.”

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